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Funniest Story Game
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TOPIC: Funniest Story Game

Funniest Story Game 9 years, 1 month ago #226681

Tell us a personal (or someone you know) experience that is hilarious and funny.

This will last for a week and at the end I will put a poll to see who wins! (Still need someone to tell me how to put poll.)

Story: In Middle School after every period someone would say "MINE!" (From Finding Nemo) and then start a HUGE chain reaction where everyone in the halls would just all scream "MINE" or say it in a funny way.
Eventually the teachers got sick of it and when the announcements came on the next morning the Principle said "Due to the chaos in the hallways anyone participating in the bullying of "MIKE" will get OSS (Out of School Suspension)." Then after that IDK WHY SHE SAID THIS "We Found Mike" ... you could hear the entire school start laughing after she said that because she thought everyone was saying "Mike" instead of "Mine".
Well that's my story GL!
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Last Edit: 9 years, 1 month ago by giovanniz123.

Re: Funniest Story Game 9 years, 1 month ago #226682

I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to you, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble shitting.

No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my butt-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my buttcheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling. Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can't-Be-Flushed threshold.

I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. "Hey! This is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. "How many Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a drive!" by JFK. "There! America On-Line now has complete Usenet access!" by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.

I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my butt of hair. Occasionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My butt was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.

Little did I know.

I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two buttcheaks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry.

Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic poo- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky shit/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm.

Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my butt off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering shit/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my butt cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own shit blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: "It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks."

Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my butt at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for butt-hair - ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my buttcheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.

As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your butt having the texture of a Brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.

TL;DR DON'T SHAVE YOUR BUTT-HAIR!
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Re: Funniest Story Game 9 years, 1 month ago #226683

Today people got suspended. The teachers inspected the furnishing projects in the cupboard, and since we were only practicing with the lathe some were unfinished, and looked like clubs or weapons. The main person who got suspended made it in the shape of a baseball bat and the teachers named it as a 'weapon'.
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Re: Funniest Story Game 9 years, 1 month ago #226684

DeDeTee having friends
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Re: Funniest Story Game 9 years, 1 month ago #226685

Red wrote:
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!

Nice copy pasta, unoriginal kunt.
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Re: Funniest Story Game 9 years, 1 month ago #226686

SenorTaco wrote:
DeDeTee having friends

PICTURE OF SENORTACO

you're a loc'd out gangsta set trippin' banger
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Re: Funniest Story Game 9 years, 1 month ago #226714

One time on fprp we were roleplaying a takeover at the police department. And we had taken the mayor hostage. Well josh ochs was playing as the chief of police and knew we had the mayor hostage. He was constantly breaking nlr to try and end the takeover but we kept killing him because lets face it hes shit at killing people. Eventually he goes on a rampage and nlr and fail rps the takeover and sends a airstrike to the pd, and killing the mayor in the process. So we demoted him from chief of police for failrp and he then sets his job back to chief of police. So we do it again and then he kicks us from the server. Very funny incident, this stuff happened all the time before.
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Re: Funniest Story Game 9 years, 1 month ago #226748

in english some kid was justifying his racism because he has black friends, so my friend yelled "I'm a child molester, but it's alright since I have friends who are kids"

another time he yelled "Jesus is a fake bitch!" right after the whole class got quiet and he had to stay after

one of my other friends said "fuck me" really loudly and the whole class got quiet and the teacher looked at him, said "I don't even know how to respond to that" and continued on.

I once got a popular black chick to yell/ask the teacher from across the room what bukake is.

i once drew a dick on the wall in sharpie, it's still there and I look at it everyday. it's also next to a power outlet so people sit there all the time and charge there phones

once my friend was eating chocolate pudding and told one of my black friends it was her family. i told him that was dark, not realizing what I said.

i use pickup lines on my best friend all the time

once i was signing my name on my friend's bare ass at lunch, and the janitor saw me, came outside to yell at us, then got this look of disappointment on his face and decided it wasn't worth it and went back in. i've never seen him again.

my friend and i walk into the bathrooms at random at yell "quit jerking it in here" or "No masturbating!"

and finally, once i messed something up, yelled "fuck me" and my best friend replied "okay, lemme get my strap-on." she also told that the carpet matches the drapes, which would make them fun dip blue, so now whenever I see her, I get the image of her fucking me in the ass in my head. I'm 6 foot something as she's just barely 5 foot.
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Re: Funniest Story Game 9 years, 1 month ago #226755

There was once a man named Stanley...
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Re: Funniest Story Game 9 years, 1 month ago #226769

So this one time, that giovnniz kid was banned from the forums. And for the duration of that time no stupid stuff was posted and barely any arguments broke out on the forums. Is that not absolutely hilarious?
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